In the commons, Chelle spotted me. "Hey, figment of my imagination." The dark cloud that hung over her this morning vanished.
Whatever it was couldn't have been too terrible if it only took seven classes of mental torture to get it to dissipate. "Hey, imaginary friend!" I grinned, relief washing away twenty pounds of worry. "What are you doing?"
"My parents are working so we can hang out if you want." Chelle's parents hated me more than I detested them. Standing up to parents for treating their daughter like trash doesn't win brownie points for some reason.
I still remember her dad's fist raising as if he were about to hit me. In that moment I wanted him to do it. If he had two things would have happened. He would have gone to jail for assaulting a minor and when he got out my dad would have either killed him or made him wish for death.
My dad was a bit notorious for being a bald-headed bad ass. He'd threatened the lives of six men he worked with this year alone. His favorite tactic, holding them by one leg over the edge of the oil rig ninety feet up and offering to drop them.
One thing everyone in town knew, pissing my dad off was a bad idea. Not only did he have a temper but he was also a daredevil and held the record for diving off the highest cliff. A dive that left him deaf in one ear only because at a hundred and thirty feet up it barely didn't kill him.
Chelle's eyes studied my face. A glimmer of worry tried to hide in the gray-blue orbs.
"What about Cole?" If she wanted to be alone with him she didn't need to tell me her parents weren't home.
"Um, well, that's what I need to talk to you about." Chelle turned away her voice falling like a soft barely perceptible mist in my ears.
Too many bodies crowded around us. We needed to get someplace without eavesdroppers. I touched her arm and signaled for us to head out. Once we turned the corner and were off school grounds Chelle sighed as though dropping the weight of a giant stone. "My mom asked him to move in with us."
I'd gone with Chelle and her mom to get the birth control. Her mom encouraged Chelle to sleep with Cole. Was this what non-Mormon moms were like? The familiar feeling of being left behind by everyone stirred in my gut.
My sisters had all moved out and never looked back. Now Chelle was moving away in a different sense. Living with a partner meant she was growing up, growing away. A sense of being four years old and too small to see over the counter and unable to reach the cup someone set too far away drove over me trampling the one security I had in high school, my friendship with Chelle.
"What do you want?" I asked holding my breath.
She shrugged her eyebrows knitting into lines of confusion and powerlessness. Maybe she wasn't leaving me behind after all.
Chelle seldom ever wanted anything for herself aside from books and art. I remembered helping her get ready for her first meeting with Cole. She'd been so nervous she had me go with her. I did her hair in a simple bun and managed to make a mess of her make-up. No matter how hard I tried to apply the tricks I used, her face was just more beautiful bare of lipstick, eyeshadows and mascara. As we entered the poetry night I put on a clown persona and little sister act.
Cole was mesmerized by her from the moment we walked through the door. I played dopey to her Snow White to be certain I wasn't competition, but I could have worn a leather teddy imitated Pamela Anderson in 'Baywatch' and Cole still would have only seen her.
Cole was quiet, shy, thoughtful. He considered every word he said before speaking. He was articulate when he chose to speak and hilarious when he loosened up. She and he were like one soul born into two bodies from that moment on.
At least until Chelle met Lee.
Chelle was wittier, more imaginative, more fun and more creative than I. How long would it take Lee to see that next to Chelle, I was nothing but a bland river rock and she was every gemstone with infinite sparkling facets?
Cole understood the difference in less than ten minutes. That Lee hadn't yet astounded me. Maybe it would take him a bit longer to see beneath the surface than it took Cole but eventually, he would. What would Chelle do then?
Would Chelle end up with a harem or would she choose one and if so which one? My best friend was oblivious to my pondering or how incredibly interesting she was just to listen to.
Her attraction to Lee was obvious, even if she didn't admit it as openly as Nick and Debbie. How long would it be before Lee saw her the way I did? Would Chelle be okay sharing him with me or would she want him all to herself?
As long as I got to be near them both whatever happened I promised myself it would be enough.
"I don't know." Chelle sighed again kicking a stone. Her hands went into her pockets as though searching for an answer in the short depths. Not finding one she pulled her fists out and smacked the chain link fence.
"What are the drawbacks if he does live with you?" I needed to understand her perspective if I wanted to help.
Chelle blew the hair from her face the wind blew it back. She tucked it behind her ears with an angry confused sharpness. "My brother already gets on his nerves following him around all the time. Cole is his first halfway decent male role model. And my sister is desperate for his attention. Well you know her, she's desperate for any attention."
Her brother was eleven and her sister was eight. Following around older siblings was pretty normal for those ages. I tried not to smile relating to the youngsters more than Chelle. I'd followed my sisters everywhere especially once they started dating. Their lives were so much more interesting than mine.
"Has Cole said he'll break up with you if it doesn't stop?" I couldn't picture Cole doing anything of the sort.
"Well, um, no." Chelle flinched. "And that's the problem. He never complains."
Confused, "Okay then how do you know your siblings are bugging him?" I asked.
She sighed. "I can just sense it."
In that moment fire licked down my neck and I was beside Lee. He was behind the school. As easily as I sensed him, he sensed me. 'Stay where you are,' his thought's commanded. 'I'll meet you there.' He'd been looking for me. When I wasn't where he expected, he'd found me another way.
"Chelle." she was the one person who knew my secret and accepted it, still it terrified me each time something like this happened. Would she still be my friend after? "We need to stay here. Lee's coming."
Her face paled a little as though Lee frightened her, only part of me knew it wasn't him she was afraid of. Maybe like me, she was afraid of what he signified. Would our friendship end over a guy? I'd been afraid of what would happen when she started dating Cole, afraid he might not like me and so she would stop hanging out to make him happy.
I wanted to reassure her, she would always come first, but while that was true now, would it always be that way? Casting a line into the future it returned an indecipherable void. Were my abilities fading? Was I imagining things? I didn't know.
Despite it being winter we sat on an early green grass by a stop sign. Chelle believing me without question that Lee was coming waited patiently. Her trust was a priceless gift. A gift I didn't know how to survive without.
Lee was walking fast, rushing to meet us. Was he worried I didn't get his message? I stood up just before he turned the corner coming into view. Chelle was slower getting to her feet as though she hadn't sensed the vibration of the earth heralding his arrival.
"I knew you were coming, we were waiting for you." I wanted him to know I'd heard him, felt him and that he could reach out to me like that whenever he wanted. This time I didn't wait for him to pull me into him I stepped into his embrace drinking in the dark scent of cigarettes, cologne, and him.
"Good. I wanted you to." He said wrapping his arms around me casually, very aware of my best friend's hostile stare at my back. Seeing through his eyes Chelle was a very different person.
Instead of sweet, shy and charming, she looked hateful and cruel. I pulled away from Lee unable to accept what I was seeing. Turning around Lachelle was back to looking at her feet and caved in on herself. I must have been imaging things.
Whatever it was couldn't have been too terrible if it only took seven classes of mental torture to get it to dissipate. "Hey, imaginary friend!" I grinned, relief washing away twenty pounds of worry. "What are you doing?"
I still remember her dad's fist raising as if he were about to hit me. In that moment I wanted him to do it. If he had two things would have happened. He would have gone to jail for assaulting a minor and when he got out my dad would have either killed him or made him wish for death.
My dad was a bit notorious for being a bald-headed bad ass. He'd threatened the lives of six men he worked with this year alone. His favorite tactic, holding them by one leg over the edge of the oil rig ninety feet up and offering to drop them.
One thing everyone in town knew, pissing my dad off was a bad idea. Not only did he have a temper but he was also a daredevil and held the record for diving off the highest cliff. A dive that left him deaf in one ear only because at a hundred and thirty feet up it barely didn't kill him.
Chelle's eyes studied my face. A glimmer of worry tried to hide in the gray-blue orbs.
"What about Cole?" If she wanted to be alone with him she didn't need to tell me her parents weren't home.
"Um, well, that's what I need to talk to you about." Chelle turned away her voice falling like a soft barely perceptible mist in my ears.
Too many bodies crowded around us. We needed to get someplace without eavesdroppers. I touched her arm and signaled for us to head out. Once we turned the corner and were off school grounds Chelle sighed as though dropping the weight of a giant stone. "My mom asked him to move in with us."
I'd gone with Chelle and her mom to get the birth control. Her mom encouraged Chelle to sleep with Cole. Was this what non-Mormon moms were like? The familiar feeling of being left behind by everyone stirred in my gut.
My sisters had all moved out and never looked back. Now Chelle was moving away in a different sense. Living with a partner meant she was growing up, growing away. A sense of being four years old and too small to see over the counter and unable to reach the cup someone set too far away drove over me trampling the one security I had in high school, my friendship with Chelle.
"What do you want?" I asked holding my breath.
She shrugged her eyebrows knitting into lines of confusion and powerlessness. Maybe she wasn't leaving me behind after all.
Chelle seldom ever wanted anything for herself aside from books and art. I remembered helping her get ready for her first meeting with Cole. She'd been so nervous she had me go with her. I did her hair in a simple bun and managed to make a mess of her make-up. No matter how hard I tried to apply the tricks I used, her face was just more beautiful bare of lipstick, eyeshadows and mascara. As we entered the poetry night I put on a clown persona and little sister act.
Cole was mesmerized by her from the moment we walked through the door. I played dopey to her Snow White to be certain I wasn't competition, but I could have worn a leather teddy imitated Pamela Anderson in 'Baywatch' and Cole still would have only seen her.
Cole was quiet, shy, thoughtful. He considered every word he said before speaking. He was articulate when he chose to speak and hilarious when he loosened up. She and he were like one soul born into two bodies from that moment on.
At least until Chelle met Lee.
Chelle was wittier, more imaginative, more fun and more creative than I. How long would it take Lee to see that next to Chelle, I was nothing but a bland river rock and she was every gemstone with infinite sparkling facets?
Cole understood the difference in less than ten minutes. That Lee hadn't yet astounded me. Maybe it would take him a bit longer to see beneath the surface than it took Cole but eventually, he would. What would Chelle do then?
Would Chelle end up with a harem or would she choose one and if so which one? My best friend was oblivious to my pondering or how incredibly interesting she was just to listen to.
Her attraction to Lee was obvious, even if she didn't admit it as openly as Nick and Debbie. How long would it be before Lee saw her the way I did? Would Chelle be okay sharing him with me or would she want him all to herself?
As long as I got to be near them both whatever happened I promised myself it would be enough.
"I don't know." Chelle sighed again kicking a stone. Her hands went into her pockets as though searching for an answer in the short depths. Not finding one she pulled her fists out and smacked the chain link fence.
"What are the drawbacks if he does live with you?" I needed to understand her perspective if I wanted to help.
Chelle blew the hair from her face the wind blew it back. She tucked it behind her ears with an angry confused sharpness. "My brother already gets on his nerves following him around all the time. Cole is his first halfway decent male role model. And my sister is desperate for his attention. Well you know her, she's desperate for any attention."
Her brother was eleven and her sister was eight. Following around older siblings was pretty normal for those ages. I tried not to smile relating to the youngsters more than Chelle. I'd followed my sisters everywhere especially once they started dating. Their lives were so much more interesting than mine.
"Has Cole said he'll break up with you if it doesn't stop?" I couldn't picture Cole doing anything of the sort.
"Well, um, no." Chelle flinched. "And that's the problem. He never complains."
Confused, "Okay then how do you know your siblings are bugging him?" I asked.
She sighed. "I can just sense it."
In that moment fire licked down my neck and I was beside Lee. He was behind the school. As easily as I sensed him, he sensed me. 'Stay where you are,' his thought's commanded. 'I'll meet you there.' He'd been looking for me. When I wasn't where he expected, he'd found me another way.
"Chelle." she was the one person who knew my secret and accepted it, still it terrified me each time something like this happened. Would she still be my friend after? "We need to stay here. Lee's coming."
Her face paled a little as though Lee frightened her, only part of me knew it wasn't him she was afraid of. Maybe like me, she was afraid of what he signified. Would our friendship end over a guy? I'd been afraid of what would happen when she started dating Cole, afraid he might not like me and so she would stop hanging out to make him happy.
I wanted to reassure her, she would always come first, but while that was true now, would it always be that way? Casting a line into the future it returned an indecipherable void. Were my abilities fading? Was I imagining things? I didn't know.
Despite it being winter we sat on an early green grass by a stop sign. Chelle believing me without question that Lee was coming waited patiently. Her trust was a priceless gift. A gift I didn't know how to survive without.
Lee was walking fast, rushing to meet us. Was he worried I didn't get his message? I stood up just before he turned the corner coming into view. Chelle was slower getting to her feet as though she hadn't sensed the vibration of the earth heralding his arrival.
"I knew you were coming, we were waiting for you." I wanted him to know I'd heard him, felt him and that he could reach out to me like that whenever he wanted. This time I didn't wait for him to pull me into him I stepped into his embrace drinking in the dark scent of cigarettes, cologne, and him.
"Good. I wanted you to." He said wrapping his arms around me casually, very aware of my best friend's hostile stare at my back. Seeing through his eyes Chelle was a very different person.
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