This morning I woke up with some ab definition and tone, excited I promptly blasted some music and began working out. After an hour of intense cardio, I went back to the mirror.
I hadn't eaten anything but all definition had disappeared and my stomach looked like I'd just finished eating Thanksgiving dinner. What the hell? I wanted to scream but was too busy burping. Yes, that's right burping.
Gross right?
The sodium bloat. The body pumping adrenaline and cortisol into my abs and organs causing water retention and digestive "issues" aka burping. This should go away in a couple weeks but how long before my abs go back to looking cut and not pregnant?
For me, this stage lasts longer than most people. Most people get away with a two week adjustment period, me, however, it lasts usually about two months.
Because of things that happened in a certain relationship let's just say this bloating phase made me afraid of exercising. When someone is counting every calorie and freaking out on you for not exercising enough and never satisfied with how much you're working out and telling you your body is disgusting... it adds to the cortisol levels and bloat.
I have to get past this. Letting the insanity of a controlling psychotic keep me from doing what I want is a waste of energy and headspace.
Solution? Hot sexy songs. My current favorite "Next Contestant" by Nickelback. The x-rated lyrics give me a feeling of being completely safe while wearing next to nothing in a bar full of guys who want to bed me.
Did I mention my favorite form of exercise is pole dancing?
After being told, "You're not sexy," by the person who was supposed to love me more than anyone, I needed to know why I wasn't sexy and what the hell sexy even was. I paid a year in advance and went to two lessons a day.
Pole practice gave me a confidence I'd never known. Watching other women work their bodies, the sensuality of movement and knowing what the hell I was doing, was amazing. I no longer had to guess at what sexy was when every guy seemed to have a different fetish, instead, I knew exactly what moves I wanted to make and instead of wearing a sports bra that felt like a boa constrictor eating my lungs when I worked out I got to wear the forbidden and insanely comfortable!
UP THE SEXY!
Don't make women do all the work!!!!
I hadn't eaten anything but all definition had disappeared and my stomach looked like I'd just finished eating Thanksgiving dinner. What the hell? I wanted to scream but was too busy burping. Yes, that's right burping.
Gross right?
The sodium bloat. The body pumping adrenaline and cortisol into my abs and organs causing water retention and digestive "issues" aka burping. This should go away in a couple weeks but how long before my abs go back to looking cut and not pregnant?
For me, this stage lasts longer than most people. Most people get away with a two week adjustment period, me, however, it lasts usually about two months.
Because of things that happened in a certain relationship let's just say this bloating phase made me afraid of exercising. When someone is counting every calorie and freaking out on you for not exercising enough and never satisfied with how much you're working out and telling you your body is disgusting... it adds to the cortisol levels and bloat.
I have to get past this. Letting the insanity of a controlling psychotic keep me from doing what I want is a waste of energy and headspace.
Solution? Hot sexy songs. My current favorite "Next Contestant" by Nickelback. The x-rated lyrics give me a feeling of being completely safe while wearing next to nothing in a bar full of guys who want to bed me.
Did I mention my favorite form of exercise is pole dancing?
After being told, "You're not sexy," by the person who was supposed to love me more than anyone, I needed to know why I wasn't sexy and what the hell sexy even was. I paid a year in advance and went to two lessons a day.
Pole practice gave me a confidence I'd never known. Watching other women work their bodies, the sensuality of movement and knowing what the hell I was doing, was amazing. I no longer had to guess at what sexy was when every guy seemed to have a different fetish, instead, I knew exactly what moves I wanted to make and instead of wearing a sports bra that felt like a boa constrictor eating my lungs when I worked out I got to wear the forbidden and insanely comfortable!
Granted I haven't quite gotten the hang of walking in ten-inch heels but knowing I have some in my closet in case of emergency is rather thrilling!
What do I mean by emergency? Falling every other step isn't so bad when you have a hot sexy someone there to catch you!!!! Yes, the guy who sold me the shoes was all muscles and bedroom eyes and didn't mind at all when I fell all over him!
We traded numbers and he called a few dozen times but I was still in the panicking stage every time I thought about dating and so it never happened, but now that I'm getting back in the saddle of dating (somewhat) maybe I'll find another guy who wants to play 'catch.'
Now, for all you handsome guys out there...
UP THE SEXY!
Don't make women do all the work!!!!
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