The Wonders Of Finding A CF Partner

Finally dating a man who is childfree. Before this I'd only dated one other who was childfree but that relationship didn't last long.

I now get why the childfree community is all about only dating other childfree people.

I feel truly accepted by my significant other. I get the whole being on the same page thing.

It isn't just being child free though, we're both non religious, highly into psychology and self development, and good with money.

However the childfree aspect specifically has brought to light many areas of fulfillment my previous relationships were missing.

I feel secure in the relationship at a level I never have. Once my husband left for another woman because he knocked her up... I didn't feel like I was enough.

In this relationship, I feel powerful. I don't question my choices, i.e. wondering how much I should sacrifice to make my partner happy and what compromises I should make.

I feel accepted as a woman. He doesn't question if I have maternal instincts or a soft nature. He doesn't tell me that the greatest quality any woman can have is that of being a great mom and I don't worry about caving to his desires to have kids only to have the parenting disagreements break up the relationship.

He adores how much I care about things like overpopulation, recycling, and building various income streams.

Add to that we individually embrace sober and healthy lifestyles, it's pretty incredible.

One of the things Res said that helped tear down my walls was if something did happen and I got knocked up, he'd want me to get an abortion, because he knows pregnancy could potentially kill me and he'd rather have me than some genetic edifice to his ego, which compared to my last relationship where the guy knew pregnancy could kill me but he kept pressuring me to have his baby...

I don't know if anything has quite struck me as so romantic as being told by a significant other as he'd want me to get an abortion and not risk my life. It definitely melted a chunk of ice I've been keeping around my heart.

Also neither of us having kids means I don't constantly feel in limbo wondering if I should mention all the stuff I learned about parenting in the child development and child psychology classes I took when I was paranoid I would have kids because in Utah pregnancy and kids seemed inevitable.

I love having a partner who sees me for all I've worked to become and not as just a pretty thing he can coerce into being fertile soil for his seed.

It makes me feel like so many of my past relationships in that regard were horribly abusive.

Anyway after having this, I don't think I can go back to the way things were.

I'm worried though because I'm not sure it's even possible to find something like this again and so if it ends... I'll be mourning it for a long time.

I know people say don't think that way but in my experience 99.999% of my relationships fail, so I feel like it's important to brace for impact, and the better the relationship the harder it is to recover from and so far, this has been AMAZING!

We have the same concepts of what being a couple means. We support each other, trust each other, communicate our insecurities without blame, tell each other about our failures without fear of recrimination, and encourage each other in reaching individual non couple goals while also having goals as a couple. 
We ask for advice and respect each other's input and for once I don't worry about that changing because we're both child-free with a desire for furry roommates.
On the bright side, if it does end, it's great to know I won't have to worry about permanently giving up happiness because there's no fear of being a single parent who has no time or resources for herself as is the situation for many. 

According to studies single women who choose the child-free life are the happiest female demographic in society and while I may not be single, just being child-free gives me the freedom to chase dreams, work on big goals, and live independently no matter my relationship status. His support of that one thing is why I'm only 87% terrified of diving in and seeing where things go instead of the usual 60,000%.