The halls bustled with students but something was missing. At lunch it clicked. No one was going out of their way to be mean. For once I wasn't surrounded by snapping vipers.
A few girls pointed and whispered, and the boys didn't quite meet my eyes but no one had tripped me or called out insults as I passed. Max averted his gaze instead of his long inscrutable stare.
In sixth period Senecca, who belonged in the middle of the high school hierarchy leaned over to talk. Despite having sat together for several months this was the first time she noticed I was alive. "You're dating Lee Lavellan?" She whispered tapping my arm.
We'd kissed but were we dating? What did she mean by dating? Did she want to know if we were a couple? For a moment I was stumped, different answers and scenarios ran through my mind. "Um, we've just been hanging out."
"You are dating!" She latched onto the piece of gossip her eyes gleaming.
Why was she so sure? I thought of Lee's room, he probably didn't have the money go out to dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe us hanging out was his way of dating. Still, he hadn't said anything and letting a rumor like that run wild would be wrong. "I don't know, please d.."
"What are you two whispering about?" Mrs. Dunsmore interrupted. "Obviously not about Ulysses S. Grant."
"Sorry Mrs. Dee," I hated disappointing any teacher but especially her.
The bell rang. Senecca, her stuff already packed away because she'd never bothered to get any of it out, leaped from her chair racing off. She disappeared before I could grab the papers, books, backpack, coat, and pencils scattered about my desk.
I crossed my fingers she wouldn't say anything. The next time I saw Senecca, I would have to make her swear to be quiet.
As I scampered to the last class of the day I noticed my peers parting like the red sea. In a crowded hall, Lee had a bubble of five feet no one intruded upon. What was he doing here? Should I avoid him so people didn't get the wrong idea?
Upon seeing Senecca behind him whispering to Naomi, my brain went into damage control. I had to face this head on. Squeezing my history book a bit harder I stepped out of the crowd.
"I was just looking for you," Lee said nodding my direction and pouting his lips. Damn, he had a sexy pout.
Had I already done something wrong? Had Senecca just repeated a rumor already spreading? Was he here to clarify to everyone he was just playing a game with me?
"Ashley," Debbie said coming up behind me.
This was getting complicated. I needed to hurry. The next class was starting in a few minutes. "Lee this is my friend Debbie. Deb, this is Lee."
"Hello," Lee said putting back on a mask of super polite.
Debbie's yellow cat eyes lit up, "He-ey," her voice was soaked in 'Oh my god he's fucktastic!' Her gaze bounced from Lee to me, silently screaming, 'Tell him I'm single! Set us up! Oh my god!'
Lee didn't seem to notice or if he did, he was so used to the reaction it no longer phased him. He focused his attention back on me acting like no one else existed. "I came to see you before I go to work." He grabbed my hand stroking my knuckles with his thumb.
Everyone was staring. I glanced around, certain I was being paranoid but everyone was staring. Lee and I were fish in a fishbowl and Debbie was completely taken aback.
In my mind, I tried to figure out how to set Debbie and Lee up. Did one set up her friends with the guy she liked who liked her? It would be the nice thing to do as far as Debbie went but Lee not so much. After watching how every girl threw herself at him I didn't want to be another person who disregarded what he wanted.
Lee pulled me close, his gaze dropping to my lips. My history book crushed against my chest, I wondered if he was going to kiss me.
My eyes darted again to the crowd, to Debbie's wide-eyed slack-jawed expression. Lee noticed the flinch of pain that went through me. Disappointing Debbie left a thin burning cut on my heart.
My anxiety seemed to shake sense back into him and he let me go. "Will I see you tonight?" He asked his thumb continuing to drive me crazy as it drew tiny circles on the back of my hand.
"Uh, what time do you get off?"
Lee chuckled and my face heated. The unintentional double entendre hung between us making my heartbeat go from a dull thump, thump, to surround sound.
"Around nine," he answered saving my face from becoming permanently lustburned.
My mom wouldn't want me to go out that late, especially if she had to pick me up afterward. She woke up at around five A.M. and making her stay up that late when she had to work would be cruel. "I'm sorry I can't."
Would my unavailability cause him to hook up with someone else? The question once formed wouldn't go away. "I have a test next period, I can't skip." Now was not the time to deal with the Senecca issue. "See you later?" It was vague. It was casual.
Lee's nod gave an assurance I desperately needed.
I rushed off to avoid telling him I'd walk through hell to see him that night. Damn those hypnotic eyes of his and all those girls checking out his ass as he walked away.
I glanced back and noticed Debbie following after him, her hand latching onto the black leather sleeve of his jacket. Maybe she didn't need me to set her up. Maybe Lee and Debbie were meant to be. He did fit her exact description of the perfect guy.
Trailing after Lee and Debbie, Senecca. A knot in my stomach said she was going to be absent from her next period. It wasn't her and Lee though that my paranoid thoughts pictured. A vision of her as a knocked up teenager having a botched abortion and turning into a junkie clouded my sight making the hallway disappear.
Shaking off yet another crazy hallucination, I hurried to the last class of the day. The last thing I needed was another reason for people to freak out.
I'd gotten really good at denying and hiding the things I saw, but last year new abilities developed. The first one got passed off as my usual "weirdness." The second caused a girl to scream pointing at me saying, "It's her, she did it," over and over until a teacher intervened and she fell into a ball of tears and spent next hour in the nurse's office shaking.
Finishing a test I was fairly certain I aced, school ended. On my way out I saw Chelle, Debbie and Nick hanging out in front of the main entrance. Chelle spotted me first. She waved her arm in a 'get your butt over here' motion.
Confused by her incongruent exuberance I hurried over.
"We were talking and we're going to hang out tonight. Are you free?" Chelle knew I'd gotten most my homework done during lunch on the off chance Lee showed up.
Did Debbie tell her he had to work? Was this a cheer me up intervention?
Nick tried to act nonchalant but there was a tenseness to his body that said it was really important we hung out tonight. "Sounds like a party." I smiled. It seemed as though I was no longer a complete outcast in this dead horse town.
After deciding on my place because the step perv was back in Ogden where he spent half the week, we loaded into Chelle's dad's truck. He rarely let her borrow it since she'd rolled the last one with me and Cole in it. It was cramped but since this was my first overcrowded vehicle to be in with 'friends,' I was a bit ecstatic.
So many times I watched other teenagers pile into vehicles breaking the seatbelt laws as they sat on each others' laps 'til they were packed like spam in a tin and wished I knew what that was like.
Debbie sat on Nick's lap which didn't make much sense since I was a bit lighter but if Lee and I were dating it was probably best I didn't sit on any other guy's lap, even if he was gay.
Once at my place, we munched on leftovers and candy bars, drank soda from the pantry, while Chelle and Nick cracked everyone up with witty banter. This was nice. This was amazing.
"Lee is exactly what I want in a guy." Debbie said veering off the topic of the pointlessness of celebrating guys trying to smash each other's brains in over a ball and a fifty-yard line.
I nodded, "I remember."
Nick's eyes threw daggers. "I've had a crush on him since first grade."
"Oh." This wasn't a cheer me up party. Was Lachelle in on it? She picked at the upholstery, avoiding my eyes and I understood why Cole was unexplainedly absent tonight.
As Nick glared and Debbie tried to act cool, my mind spun. If I hadn't been there that night at Marion's would it have been Nick Lee kissed? If they'd known each other since first grade and Lee hadn't made a move there was a good chance Nick just wasn't his type. Even if Lee did swing both ways it wasn't likely Lee would have waited fifteen years to make a move.
Did Debbie think if Lee wasn't dating me it would be her out of the dozens of girls throwing themselves at him?
If Nick and Debbie wanted to chase Lee, I wasn't going to ask them to stop. Lee was the only person who could decide who he wanted and I wasn't going to discourage anyone from pursuing him.
Life would move on even without him. Giving up any one of the few friends I had over it would be idiotic.
The atmosphere of the room was a consensus. A nonverbal "BACK OFF" screamed in the air.
What none of them knew was I hadn't chased Lee. I hadn't even tried to flirt with him until we were alone in his bedroom. I still wasn't chasing him. He'd made all the moves. I treated Lee like any other person until he kissed me.
Despite that, Lee noticed me in ways no one else did. Why was he so different? Why did he choose me amongst the crowd? When the throng of women were throwing themselves at him, why did he rebuff all of them for me?
I wasn't special. Was I just lucky? Right place, right time? There was no reason for Lee to choose me.
A word whispered through the air, a word no one else heard, "Soulmates."
Sylphs playing a trick? My imagination run wild? The word crackled through my veins infusing the power Lee exuded into my being.
Nick dropped his eyes as though ashamed. Debbie glanced up and her lips parted. A breeze stirred the air, playing with my hair.
A breeze that should have been shut out by windows and doors.
A few girls pointed and whispered, and the boys didn't quite meet my eyes but no one had tripped me or called out insults as I passed. Max averted his gaze instead of his long inscrutable stare.
In sixth period Senecca, who belonged in the middle of the high school hierarchy leaned over to talk. Despite having sat together for several months this was the first time she noticed I was alive. "You're dating Lee Lavellan?" She whispered tapping my arm.
We'd kissed but were we dating? What did she mean by dating? Did she want to know if we were a couple? For a moment I was stumped, different answers and scenarios ran through my mind. "Um, we've just been hanging out."
"You are dating!" She latched onto the piece of gossip her eyes gleaming.
Why was she so sure? I thought of Lee's room, he probably didn't have the money go out to dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe us hanging out was his way of dating. Still, he hadn't said anything and letting a rumor like that run wild would be wrong. "I don't know, please d.."
"What are you two whispering about?" Mrs. Dunsmore interrupted. "Obviously not about Ulysses S. Grant."
"Sorry Mrs. Dee," I hated disappointing any teacher but especially her.
The bell rang. Senecca, her stuff already packed away because she'd never bothered to get any of it out, leaped from her chair racing off. She disappeared before I could grab the papers, books, backpack, coat, and pencils scattered about my desk.
I crossed my fingers she wouldn't say anything. The next time I saw Senecca, I would have to make her swear to be quiet.
As I scampered to the last class of the day I noticed my peers parting like the red sea. In a crowded hall, Lee had a bubble of five feet no one intruded upon. What was he doing here? Should I avoid him so people didn't get the wrong idea?
Upon seeing Senecca behind him whispering to Naomi, my brain went into damage control. I had to face this head on. Squeezing my history book a bit harder I stepped out of the crowd.
"I was just looking for you," Lee said nodding my direction and pouting his lips. Damn, he had a sexy pout.
Had I already done something wrong? Had Senecca just repeated a rumor already spreading? Was he here to clarify to everyone he was just playing a game with me?
"Ashley," Debbie said coming up behind me.
This was getting complicated. I needed to hurry. The next class was starting in a few minutes. "Lee this is my friend Debbie. Deb, this is Lee."
"Hello," Lee said putting back on a mask of super polite.
Debbie's yellow cat eyes lit up, "He-ey," her voice was soaked in 'Oh my god he's fucktastic!' Her gaze bounced from Lee to me, silently screaming, 'Tell him I'm single! Set us up! Oh my god!'
Lee didn't seem to notice or if he did, he was so used to the reaction it no longer phased him. He focused his attention back on me acting like no one else existed. "I came to see you before I go to work." He grabbed my hand stroking my knuckles with his thumb.
Everyone was staring. I glanced around, certain I was being paranoid but everyone was staring. Lee and I were fish in a fishbowl and Debbie was completely taken aback.
In my mind, I tried to figure out how to set Debbie and Lee up. Did one set up her friends with the guy she liked who liked her? It would be the nice thing to do as far as Debbie went but Lee not so much. After watching how every girl threw herself at him I didn't want to be another person who disregarded what he wanted.
Lee pulled me close, his gaze dropping to my lips. My history book crushed against my chest, I wondered if he was going to kiss me.
My eyes darted again to the crowd, to Debbie's wide-eyed slack-jawed expression. Lee noticed the flinch of pain that went through me. Disappointing Debbie left a thin burning cut on my heart.
My anxiety seemed to shake sense back into him and he let me go. "Will I see you tonight?" He asked his thumb continuing to drive me crazy as it drew tiny circles on the back of my hand.
"Uh, what time do you get off?"
Lee chuckled and my face heated. The unintentional double entendre hung between us making my heartbeat go from a dull thump, thump, to surround sound.
"Around nine," he answered saving my face from becoming permanently lustburned.
My mom wouldn't want me to go out that late, especially if she had to pick me up afterward. She woke up at around five A.M. and making her stay up that late when she had to work would be cruel. "I'm sorry I can't."
Would my unavailability cause him to hook up with someone else? The question once formed wouldn't go away. "I have a test next period, I can't skip." Now was not the time to deal with the Senecca issue. "See you later?" It was vague. It was casual.
Lee's nod gave an assurance I desperately needed.
I rushed off to avoid telling him I'd walk through hell to see him that night. Damn those hypnotic eyes of his and all those girls checking out his ass as he walked away.
I glanced back and noticed Debbie following after him, her hand latching onto the black leather sleeve of his jacket. Maybe she didn't need me to set her up. Maybe Lee and Debbie were meant to be. He did fit her exact description of the perfect guy.
Shaking off yet another crazy hallucination, I hurried to the last class of the day. The last thing I needed was another reason for people to freak out.
I'd gotten really good at denying and hiding the things I saw, but last year new abilities developed. The first one got passed off as my usual "weirdness." The second caused a girl to scream pointing at me saying, "It's her, she did it," over and over until a teacher intervened and she fell into a ball of tears and spent next hour in the nurse's office shaking.
Finishing a test I was fairly certain I aced, school ended. On my way out I saw Chelle, Debbie and Nick hanging out in front of the main entrance. Chelle spotted me first. She waved her arm in a 'get your butt over here' motion.
Confused by her incongruent exuberance I hurried over.
"We were talking and we're going to hang out tonight. Are you free?" Chelle knew I'd gotten most my homework done during lunch on the off chance Lee showed up.
Did Debbie tell her he had to work? Was this a cheer me up intervention?
Nick tried to act nonchalant but there was a tenseness to his body that said it was really important we hung out tonight. "Sounds like a party." I smiled. It seemed as though I was no longer a complete outcast in this dead horse town.
After deciding on my place because the step perv was back in Ogden where he spent half the week, we loaded into Chelle's dad's truck. He rarely let her borrow it since she'd rolled the last one with me and Cole in it. It was cramped but since this was my first overcrowded vehicle to be in with 'friends,' I was a bit ecstatic.
So many times I watched other teenagers pile into vehicles breaking the seatbelt laws as they sat on each others' laps 'til they were packed like spam in a tin and wished I knew what that was like.
Debbie sat on Nick's lap which didn't make much sense since I was a bit lighter but if Lee and I were dating it was probably best I didn't sit on any other guy's lap, even if he was gay.
Once at my place, we munched on leftovers and candy bars, drank soda from the pantry, while Chelle and Nick cracked everyone up with witty banter. This was nice. This was amazing.
"Lee is exactly what I want in a guy." Debbie said veering off the topic of the pointlessness of celebrating guys trying to smash each other's brains in over a ball and a fifty-yard line.
I nodded, "I remember."
Nick's eyes threw daggers. "I've had a crush on him since first grade."
"Oh." This wasn't a cheer me up party. Was Lachelle in on it? She picked at the upholstery, avoiding my eyes and I understood why Cole was unexplainedly absent tonight.
As Nick glared and Debbie tried to act cool, my mind spun. If I hadn't been there that night at Marion's would it have been Nick Lee kissed? If they'd known each other since first grade and Lee hadn't made a move there was a good chance Nick just wasn't his type. Even if Lee did swing both ways it wasn't likely Lee would have waited fifteen years to make a move.
Did Debbie think if Lee wasn't dating me it would be her out of the dozens of girls throwing themselves at him?
If Nick and Debbie wanted to chase Lee, I wasn't going to ask them to stop. Lee was the only person who could decide who he wanted and I wasn't going to discourage anyone from pursuing him.
Life would move on even without him. Giving up any one of the few friends I had over it would be idiotic.
The atmosphere of the room was a consensus. A nonverbal "BACK OFF" screamed in the air.
What none of them knew was I hadn't chased Lee. I hadn't even tried to flirt with him until we were alone in his bedroom. I still wasn't chasing him. He'd made all the moves. I treated Lee like any other person until he kissed me.
Despite that, Lee noticed me in ways no one else did. Why was he so different? Why did he choose me amongst the crowd? When the throng of women were throwing themselves at him, why did he rebuff all of them for me?
I wasn't special. Was I just lucky? Right place, right time? There was no reason for Lee to choose me.
A word whispered through the air, a word no one else heard, "Soulmates."
Sylphs playing a trick? My imagination run wild? The word crackled through my veins infusing the power Lee exuded into my being.
Nick dropped his eyes as though ashamed. Debbie glanced up and her lips parted. A breeze stirred the air, playing with my hair.
A breeze that should have been shut out by windows and doors.
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