I lay down, focusing on my breathing, a question in my mind. I'd just talked to my first "love" again, for the first time in fourteen years. The connection was still there and we talked for hours like no time had passed.
In my mind, two large tankards made of wood appeared. Carved with faces. The cups, alive, neared each other and as they touched liquid sloshed from one cup to the other, back and forth.
I remember laying on his floor, his fingers playing with my hair or stroking my wrist, my palm, our fingers interlocking. Our hands weaved in a dance playing with the light from the window, at the time I remember thinking it was beautiful.
His sensual touch ignited my skin. I felt crazed. My body hummed violently. I would explode if I didn't get closer to him.
So many years later his voice on the phone brought the memories rushing back and I missed him. I hadn't missed him in a long long time.
Confused and disoriented by a connection I'd thought long dead I drifted off to sleep. Only the strangeness of the vision awoke me. My mind began analyzing it telling me it was important.
Someone recently informed me sex was nothing more than just going for a jog or working out at the gym, just a way to stimulate endorphins. Nothing more, nothing less. As I fell asleep this and the connection I felt with someone who I'd long ago moved on from made me question if there was any importance or significance in the mingling of bodies, the touch of skin, a kiss.
I was a sophomore when I met him. I remember walking with my best friend to her house when a sensation of being pulled backward assaulted me. We had to stop. Somehow I knew he would be there in a few moments. I could feel him like a rolling thunder through my veins.
Was I delusional back then? How could I know something so random? We'd only just started seeing each other. I barely knew him. Regardless, within a few minutes of stopping, there, he was.
With cell phones and texting, I've never had to think about or wonder if I had this connection with anyone else. Technology erased the reason for it.
One of my teachers gave me the misinformation that the tradition of clinking glasses came from a king worried about being poisoned so he would clink glasses with his enemies deliberately spilling some of his drink into theirs.
The two wooden tankards began to kiss. As they kissed more and more of the liquids flowed from one to the other mixing into each other.
As the liquids combined, in equal measure, a reaction took place and the unified solution emanated an exquisite white light. Deep in the bottom of the cups, almost unnoticed was a swirling darkness, which the light began to purify.
In relationships, there is a certain ecstasy that can be achieved when both partners invest themselves. Relationships can heal wounds, make us more than we are as individuals. In a way, make us more than human and more human.
Sadly, I've seen very few relationships that emanate such joy and lightness of being. My marriage was one of resentment and felt like a prison.
It's failure though started me on a path of enlightenment. I wanted desperately to learn everything necessary to have a better future.
Two books that could have made all the difference and I cannot recommend enough are:
In my mind, two large tankards made of wood appeared. Carved with faces. The cups, alive, neared each other and as they touched liquid sloshed from one cup to the other, back and forth.
I remember laying on his floor, his fingers playing with my hair or stroking my wrist, my palm, our fingers interlocking. Our hands weaved in a dance playing with the light from the window, at the time I remember thinking it was beautiful.
His sensual touch ignited my skin. I felt crazed. My body hummed violently. I would explode if I didn't get closer to him.
So many years later his voice on the phone brought the memories rushing back and I missed him. I hadn't missed him in a long long time.
Confused and disoriented by a connection I'd thought long dead I drifted off to sleep. Only the strangeness of the vision awoke me. My mind began analyzing it telling me it was important.
Someone recently informed me sex was nothing more than just going for a jog or working out at the gym, just a way to stimulate endorphins. Nothing more, nothing less. As I fell asleep this and the connection I felt with someone who I'd long ago moved on from made me question if there was any importance or significance in the mingling of bodies, the touch of skin, a kiss.
I was a sophomore when I met him. I remember walking with my best friend to her house when a sensation of being pulled backward assaulted me. We had to stop. Somehow I knew he would be there in a few moments. I could feel him like a rolling thunder through my veins.
Was I delusional back then? How could I know something so random? We'd only just started seeing each other. I barely knew him. Regardless, within a few minutes of stopping, there, he was.
With cell phones and texting, I've never had to think about or wonder if I had this connection with anyone else. Technology erased the reason for it.
One of my teachers gave me the misinformation that the tradition of clinking glasses came from a king worried about being poisoned so he would clink glasses with his enemies deliberately spilling some of his drink into theirs.
The two wooden tankards began to kiss. As they kissed more and more of the liquids flowed from one to the other mixing into each other.
In relationships, there is a certain ecstasy that can be achieved when both partners invest themselves. Relationships can heal wounds, make us more than we are as individuals. In a way, make us more than human and more human.
Sadly, I've seen very few relationships that emanate such joy and lightness of being. My marriage was one of resentment and felt like a prison.
It's failure though started me on a path of enlightenment. I wanted desperately to learn everything necessary to have a better future.
Two books that could have made all the difference and I cannot recommend enough are:
Stan Tatkin's:
and
Jonathon Robinson's:
Jonathon Robinson's:
These tools are invaluable for any relationship.
Thanks for reading and if you like the painting, just click on the picture!
May you have an epic romance!
Ashley
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