Nerves burned beneath my skin. A desperate need to get closer to him squeezed my belly. I would implode if the space between our bodies continued.
I slid my hand over his chest beneath his jacket. Something heavy and hard weighed it down. Curious my fingers found the opening of the inner pocket. I looked into his eyes, silently asking permission to invade the secret compartment. He gave a slight nod.
My hand hesitantly crept inside giving him plenty of time to change his mind. He didn't move just waited.
Grabbing onto a hard thick shaft I pulled it out. Eight inches long, the switchblade sat in my palm the light reflecting the memory of Kwani's pale face and the frightened look of the name caller. "Have you killed someone?"
The question escaped my lips before I could stop it. Lee took both my hands in his, his eyes searched my face looking for judgment or fear, but both were missing.
Logic told me I should be afraid or disgusted, but the hunger to know him washed everything else away.
"Yes."
His answer didn't shock or surprise me. "Oh." Suddenly it made sense why he could ignore the rumors about me, why the bond between us was instant and consuming.
I removed his jacket to kiss his shoulder and continued lightly kissing to his jaw. His pain was my pain. I dropped the knife and ran my fingers through his hair.
"I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear, my soul hurting for him.
He took my hand and kissed it lingeringly meaningfully. Then used it to pull me closer. My chest on his our breath became one. My legs dragged still on the floor.
It would be so easy and natural to straddle him. Only my dad's words rang in my head 'Men don't buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.' Was Lee someone who would toss me aside so casually?
I didn't know and it wasn't worth the risk. Eventually, he would toss me aside regardless but with our bodies laying together fully clothed and his heartbeat in my ear I was complete.
He kissed my head and sighed. His body seemed to relax and melt as though my acceptance of his past released a weight he'd been carrying for years.
My hand slipped under the thin cotton of his white tank top. A trail of hair led down into his pants and there was a smattering on his chest. I lightly stroked every part above his waistline. Examining the tattoos that had hidden beneath his jacket on his arms.
His hand on my back, his fingertips stroking, teasing and caressing slipped beneath the hem of my shirt and up my spine.
He shifted his pants. "Can I feel?" I asked. His long fingers my wrist and watching my face for any sign he'd misunderstood he haltingly led my hand down his body to place it on the cement rod beneath his zipper.
A long moment passed as his hard girth throbbed beneath my sensitive palm. Lee's hand returned to lift my chin then he kissed me.
A long moment passed as his hard girth throbbed beneath my sensitive palm. Lee's hand returned to lift my chin then he kissed me.
The world melted away. Timidly my tongue explored tasting ashes and mint in the hot ecstasy of his mouth. Lee deepened the kiss. His tongue dove inside swirled and retreated. Over and over.
His kiss, like his fingers, imitated sex in my mouth. It was his way of saying "I want to fuck you long deep and until we're too hot and sweaty to know where you end or I begin." His hands though remained chaste saying, "I'll wait, I'll wait until you're ready."
We kissed and whispered secrets until the sun set and it was time for me to go.
He walked me to the parking lot where my mom waited. I hugged him and seeing my mother's pinched lips and narrowed eyes, told him to go.
Once in the car, my mom glared at me. "You're not pretty enough for him." It was true there was little point in arguing. I studied her face wondering why she needed to point that out. Wondering why she was upset. The divorce? Her own sense of not being enough? "He's just gonna look past you and find someone else."
Was she trying to save me the pain that was inevitable? Did she see me as a pregnancy risk? I wasn't dumb. If Lee and I did have sex, condoms were absolutely a must. The last thing I wanted was to be a knocked up teenager.
"I know," I said simply and began thinking about my math assignment. It was easy to live in denial with seven classes that all gave homework, but beneath the distraction, I worried about my mom. She was cold and distant but never cruel. Something was wrong.
Lee's kiss lingered, a comforting ghost making my lips tingle. His touch lived in my skin. He'd branded some deep part of me as his.
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