Skip to main content

Time VS Space

I'm frustrated with someone and what better way to deal than by writing a blog about it? It may not be the right way to deal but it's the write way tonight.

For some people asking for time means asking for space. For me, time and space are not nearly so relative.

I needed time to trust again after way too much space. Alone in the abandoned relation'ship' I'd been bailing out water trying to keep our friendship afloat all by myself for months after he broke my heart.

I get it, I was insensitive and deserved to have my heart broken but he said he wanted to be friends... Maybe he said it to be nice, to soften the blow, maybe he didn't mean it but I trusted him and took him at his word.

The first few weeks, it made sense he would be cold and distant, my stupid mistake hurt him, hurt us. I deserved to be punished. I accidentally hit the jackpot on his pain receptors in my need to sabotage the relationship out of fear of ever again going through a "limey" hell.

A few of you understand what that refers to, and you rock!

Anyway, me telling him 'time' auto-mistranslated to 'space' because I guess that's what most people mean when they say time... I really wish people would be more exact so that plain English wasn't so complicated and was a bit more PLAIN.

Space means (in the Dictionary of Ashley) seeing your face or hearing your voice causes me so much pain I can't take it.

Time, on the other hand, means this needs work to get back to okay.

Give me time is very different from give me space, and maybe that's just my twisted lingo but I can't seem to get that through his head and so I'm quite frustrated.

I wish I knew how to speak like a human instead of an Ashley.

Growls.

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for caring enough to comment! You are awesome!

Popular posts from this blog

A Parent's Nightmare

It was supposed to be an ordinary day, but a feeling something was going to go horribly wrong kept me awake the night before. I waited six months, because the first time they mentioned the routine procedure and the risks I knew my daughter was going to end up dead, or brain damaged.  I thought I'd waited long enough. After six months I believed things would be ok.  I told myself to relax and stop being paranoid. I shouldn't have. The anesthesiologist with tears in his eyes told me, "I'm not going to lie, she's not doing good. This is the worst day of my career." He was thinking of his career while my little girl was fighting for her life!?  He felt bad so I said simply, "I know you tried your best," wondering if my happy sweet little girl would ever smile at me again. There was no point in making a scene. It wouldn't save her. It might kill her. I had to step back and breathe. I needed to focus on giving her all the love a
Post a Comment
Read more

A Girl Can Dream, Right?

Preparing for the cruise, a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation courses through my veins. Amidst sapphire waves and ocean skies, I'm eager to meet with my teammates, especially one sexy beast I've been mentoring late at night, a little too often.  A single man secure enough in his masculinity to be sponsored by a woman he'd never met, it was more likely I'd win the lottery but it happened!  Men that secure, are  as rare as a million dollars popping out of thin air!  Finding one man who would just listen to my dream let alone believe in it and share it, up until him has been impossible... yeah I'm ready to go past first base and then some! As I finish packing, I can't help but indulge in a few tantalizing semi erotic fantasies. From our first conversation, strategizing his path to success, I was completely intoxicated by him. After months of working together, I'm still feeling an  undeniable connection that has nothing to do with business. His confidence
Post a Comment
Read more

Dreaming of Death

I dreamed I died, my usable organs were donated, and the rest of me was fed to the birds. I requested before I died, those who received my organs would gather once a year to celebrate my daughter's birthday. I dreamed pieces of my flesh were sent out to wildlife sanctuaries around the world.  I dreamed each year, I could see my daughter with my eyes and she could feel my love surrounding her.  I dreamed I soared with eagles, dove into the sea with the ospreys, and traveled the world in ecstasy.  Gradually, I felt myself fading away into the darkness.  My daughter's birthday came again. I lived in her smile and warmth. Like a brilliant sun, she brought life back to the surface. My essence swirled around her, through her. She became my home. I lived in her joy, in her peace I rested. Trees grew from the soil marked with remnants of my flesh, I felt the sun on their leaves, and I felt the cool rich soil bathing their roots. I felt myself in rivers flowing free and wild, splashing
Post a Comment
Read more