The Wonders Of Finding A CF Partner

Finally dating a man who is childfree. Before this I'd only dated one other who was childfree but that relationship didn't last long.

I now get why the childfree community is all about only dating other childfree people.

I feel truly accepted by my significant other. I get the whole being on the same page thing.

It isn't just being child free though, we're both non religious, highly into psychology and self development, and good with money.

However the childfree aspect specifically has brought to light many areas of fulfillment my previous relationships were missing.

I feel secure in the relationship at a level I never have. Once my husband left for another woman because he knocked her up... I didn't feel like I was enough.

In this relationship, I feel powerful. I don't question my choices, i.e. wondering how much I should sacrifice to make my partner happy and what compromises I should make.

I feel accepted as a woman. He doesn't question if I have maternal instincts or a soft nature. He doesn't tell me that the greatest quality any woman can have is that of being a great mom and I don't worry about caving to his desires to have kids only to have the parenting disagreements break up the relationship.

He adores how much I care about things like overpopulation, recycling, and building various income streams.

Add to that we individually embrace sober and healthy lifestyles, it's pretty incredible.

One of the things Res said that helped tear down my walls was if something did happen and I got knocked up, he'd want me to get an abortion, because he knows pregnancy could potentially kill me and he'd rather have me than some genetic edifice to his ego, which compared to my last relationship where the guy knew pregnancy could kill me but he kept pressuring me to have his baby...

I don't know if anything has quite struck me as so romantic as being told by a significant other as he'd want me to get an abortion and not risk my life. It definitely melted a chunk of ice I've been keeping around my heart.

Also neither of us having kids means I don't constantly feel in limbo wondering if I should mention all the stuff I learned about parenting in the child development and child psychology classes I took when I was paranoid I would have kids because in Utah pregnancy and kids seemed inevitable.

I love having a partner who sees me for all I've worked to become and not as just a pretty thing he can coerce into being fertile soil for his seed.

It makes me feel like so many of my past relationships in that regard were horribly abusive.

Anyway after having this, I don't think I can go back to the way things were.

I'm worried though because I'm not sure it's even possible to find something like this again and so if it ends... I'll be mourning it for a long time.

I know people say don't think that way but in my experience 99.999% of my relationships fail, so I feel like it's important to brace for impact, and the better the relationship the harder it is to recover from and so far, this has been AMAZING!

We have the same concepts of what being a couple means. We support each other, trust each other, communicate our insecurities without blame, tell each other about our failures without fear of recrimination, and encourage each other in reaching individual non couple goals while also having goals as a couple.
We ask for advice and respect each other's input and for once I don't worry about that changing because we're both child-free with a desire for furry roommates.
On the bright side, if it does end, it's great to know I won't have to worry about permanently giving up happiness because there's no fear of being a single parent who has no time or resources for herself as is the situation for many.

According to studies single women who choose the child-free life are the happiest female demographic in society and while I may not be single, just being child-free gives me the freedom to chase dreams, work on big goals, and live independently no matter my relationship status. His support of that one thing is why I'm only 87% terrified of diving in and seeing where things go instead of the usual 60,000%.

A Parent's Nightmare

It was supposed to be an ordinary day, but a feeling something was going to go horribly wrong kept me awake the night before. I waited six months, because the first time they mentioned the routine procedure and the risks I knew my daughter was going to end up dead, or brain damaged. I thought I'd waited long enough. After six months I believed things would be ok. I told myself to relax and stop being paranoid. I shouldn't have. The anesthesiologist with tears in his eyes told me, "I'm not going to lie, she's not doing good. This is the worst day of my career." He was thinking of his career while my little girl was fighting for her life!? He felt bad so I said simply, "I know you tried your best," wondering if my happy sweet little girl would ever smile at me again. There was no point in making a scene. It wouldn't save her. It might kill her. I had to step back and breathe. I needed to focus on giving her all the love a

A Girl Can Dream, Right?

Preparing for the cruise, a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation courses through my veins. Amidst sapphire waves and ocean skies, I'm eager to meet with my teammates, especially one sexy beast I've been mentoring late at night, a little too often. A single man secure enough in his masculinity to be sponsored by a woman he'd never met, it was more likely I'd win the lottery but it happened! Men that secure, are as rare as a million dollars popping out of thin air! Finding one man who would just listen to my dream let alone believe in it and share it, up until him has been impossible... yeah I'm ready to go past first base and then some! As I finish packing, I can't help but indulge in a few tantalizing semi erotic fantasies. From our first conversation, strategizing his path to success, I was completely intoxicated by him. After months of working together, I'm still feeling an undeniable connection that has nothing to do with business. His confidence

Dreaming of Death

I dreamed I died, my usable organs were donated, and the rest of me was fed to the birds. I requested before I died, those who received my organs would gather once a year to celebrate my daughter's birthday. I dreamed pieces of my flesh were sent out to wildlife sanctuaries around the world. I dreamed each year, I could see my daughter with my eyes and she could feel my love surrounding her. I dreamed I soared with eagles, dove into the sea with the ospreys, and traveled the world in ecstasy. Gradually, I felt myself fading away into the darkness. My daughter's birthday came again. I lived in her smile and warmth. Like a brilliant sun, she brought life back to the surface. My essence swirled around her, through her. She became my home. I lived in her joy, in her peace I rested. Trees grew from the soil marked with remnants of my flesh, I felt the sun on their leaves, and I felt the cool rich soil bathing their roots. I felt myself in rivers flowing free and wild, splashing

UnknownJuly 7, 2020 at 5:46 AM
You go sister! Awesome, well said and so poignant to my heart. It is a different relationship when you FEEL accepted, and not just an object to be used. There is so much more to life than just reproducing...dreams to be dreamt, life to be lived, and partners to be loved.
UnknownJuly 10, 2020 at 4:09 PM
I feel you. We struggled for a long time to have kids. Fertility treatments that didn't work. Adoption agencies that want a ton of money.
We also got to the point of almost divorce because it drove a nail. I gave up on the concept of not having kids, but I supported her in the adventure.
But one thing as well is her health is the same way. Pregnancy could cause way more health issues. After we finally decided not to try anymore and let nature take its course, we've bonded more into our relationship. Plus we can afford more things.
I'm happy for you that you found someone. I hope it continues to work out.

Ashley Needles

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