The Beauty of Anger

Anger can be like a beast that traps Beauty in the castle, and it can grow into a monstrous uncontrollable outrage or it can hide in the shadows making snide poisonous remarks often sucking the life of the assassin or it can be like Mcdonald's something you ingest and internalize until it kills you.

Those anger tactics are WRONG!

What does it mean to honor your anger?

Anger occurs when we feel our rights are being violated or we experience hurt or disappointment.

The first step in having a loving relationship with your anger and using it to create healthier and more intimate relationships is to acknowledge it to yourself.

Admitting to yourself you are angry means you don't get to suppress it and let it become a festering resentment of a person or situation.

Next, ask yourself why are you really angry? Is it because your friend was late? Or is it really because you missed your friend and were worried about them? Or is it because you were stressed out and didn't have time to spare waiting?

If you examine your anger closely enough you will find beneath the anger is usually love. It's usually something like, "I'm angry because I really wanted to spend the time I have with you."

How beautiful is that?

 Once we find the deepest source of our anger it's love, compassion, and concern fueling it.

When we get to the deepest source of our anger we become ready to communicate with the person or about the situation that incited us to feel anger.

Ask yourself what happened? Why did it make you angry? What is the hurt behind the anger and What is the hurt behind the hurt?

Then remember you are the one who chose to be angry and remember all the wonderful reasons you love or like the person, you must speak with about your anger, concern, and feelings. Find things to appreciate about them while working through the situation.

When we use love as our guiding message most disagreements can deepen intimacy with our partners and friends.

When we don't express our anger correctly or with love we wall ourselves off from experiencing real intimacy.

It's terrible how isolating it can be to never express anger, to be afraid of being upset. I imagine the reverse is also true. Anger addicts don't have a problem being angry but that anger walls them off from ever experiencing the intimacy that comes with communicating anger effectively because instead of receiving love, they instead evoke fear in the relationship.

If you want more on how to use your anger to deepen your relationships and communicate effectively these audiobooks did wonders for me!