What happens when you choose to stay in an abusive relationship even after your life has turned to hell?
I'm so blessed that hell kicked me out, though at first, it cut me apart. I felt like a complete and utter failure. Later, as I began to recover, see clearly, and started living for myself for the first time in my life, that's when tiny cracks began to appear.
It started off as what seemed like little things. I wasn't comfortable with people. I had nightmares where I was forced to go back to that "prison." As time went on I noticed bigger problems, things upset me that I couldn't find a reason for. When I liked a guy and we started bonding I would suddenly get really annoyed by everything he did.
It wasn't like me to be so uptight or easily bothered. The music he listened to would suddenly make my head feel like it was going to explode or whenever he started talking about something panic would suddenly seize my chest and I would start babbling and freaking out while my mind played visions of the person I was with turning into or behaving like my abuser. It was a nightmare.
At times I can't leave my house for fear of running into him even though he doesn't live anywhere near me.
Sometimes I'm on a date and I become the worst person in the world. I start saying horrible things. It's like I have terrets or something. I belittle the guy's job or family or whatever and I want to smack myself just so I will shut up and go back to being a decent human being.
Abuse changes your whole life. You keep telling yourself, "It will get better," and so you stay. You keep thinking "He'll grow up and realize this isn't appropriate," and you stay.
You stay and you stay until, by the time you finally are free, you feel too damaged to ever have another relationship. When you stay, the person you were disappears bit by bit and you become someone you don't recognize.
Staying has terrible consequences. Some people stay until the abuser finally kills them and by then they are so broken they don't care. Others stay until the abuser replaces them with a new victim.
Staying is the worst choice you can make, especially if you have children. Don't let your children believe it is okay for anyone to treat you poorly because if you do, they will believe it is okay when someone treats them poorly. They will empathize with the abuser and learn from you to make excuses for the behavior.
Instead,
I'm so blessed that hell kicked me out, though at first, it cut me apart. I felt like a complete and utter failure. Later, as I began to recover, see clearly, and started living for myself for the first time in my life, that's when tiny cracks began to appear.
It started off as what seemed like little things. I wasn't comfortable with people. I had nightmares where I was forced to go back to that "prison." As time went on I noticed bigger problems, things upset me that I couldn't find a reason for. When I liked a guy and we started bonding I would suddenly get really annoyed by everything he did.
It wasn't like me to be so uptight or easily bothered. The music he listened to would suddenly make my head feel like it was going to explode or whenever he started talking about something panic would suddenly seize my chest and I would start babbling and freaking out while my mind played visions of the person I was with turning into or behaving like my abuser. It was a nightmare.
Sometimes I'm on a date and I become the worst person in the world. I start saying horrible things. It's like I have terrets or something. I belittle the guy's job or family or whatever and I want to smack myself just so I will shut up and go back to being a decent human being.
Abuse changes your whole life. You keep telling yourself, "It will get better," and so you stay. You keep thinking "He'll grow up and realize this isn't appropriate," and you stay.
You stay and you stay until, by the time you finally are free, you feel too damaged to ever have another relationship. When you stay, the person you were disappears bit by bit and you become someone you don't recognize.
Staying has terrible consequences. Some people stay until the abuser finally kills them and by then they are so broken they don't care. Others stay until the abuser replaces them with a new victim.
Staying is the worst choice you can make, especially if you have children. Don't let your children believe it is okay for anyone to treat you poorly because if you do, they will believe it is okay when someone treats them poorly. They will empathize with the abuser and learn from you to make excuses for the behavior.
Instead,
LEAVE!
RUN!
DON'T LOOK BACK!
DON'T WONDER, "WHAT IF I...?"
OR "MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS ME TO..."
JUST GO AND KEEP GOING!
DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID.
I know in time I will undo the damage he did, but every second is so precious. You don't want to spend years working through all the walls you built, the fear he or she left you with. You deserve to be happy NOW!
LOVE YOU!!!
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