Taking A Sabbatical

Sabbatical: a friendly loving break up where two people want to be together but can't. Unless you ask Webster, Miriam or Oxford.

Stupid me mentioned to him something, a secret I've been keeping for several years. Unlike me, he takes it seriously, whereas I do my best to ignore it most days until I break down under the weight of the damn thing.

Unfortunately, he also reads my blog so that whole typing out my concerns about the relationship and the strain it's put on me led to him making the decision that it would be best for me if we broke up.

He doesn't want it to be permanent just long enough for me to take care of well 'the damn secret.' Of course, he had to be a gentleman and instead of bringing up the big pink elephant in my life, he blamed it on his need to heal emotionally from his divorce and while I'm sure that played a part in it the whole us breaking up choice, I have a feeling that it was really my elephant on his mind.

I don't know if we would have gotten together if his trauma and my elephant hadn't gotten along so well, it was a rather climactic night that led to us having a sort of insta-deep connection. So he was nice and sweet and the break up didn't put me in the mood to make out with the first sexy beast who offered comfort. Darn it.

Luckily, the other day when I was getting close to hitting my breaking point I ran into someone else. This person cared enough to message me and then listen as I blathered on about how I had screwed up my relationship and hurt the guy I liked and about how awful my day was.

So after Hawk made his decision I went out with this new friend to eat. He made me laugh, we had fun. I'd hoped to lose myself in kisses and cuddles but that just wasn't to be.

That's the really big problem with having a nice polite sweet break up, it makes you want to tear your hair out because it doesn't come with any of the fun of a mean fiery break-up that leads to bad decisions and fun regrets.

So yeah Hawk, a good guy until the end. Dagnabit. Life is so much easier when you only say goodbye to jerks.

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