Words I Can't Say to Someone

I loved your music, your mind, the way you looked at me. I couldn't listen to one more note or hear another unique thought or have you look at me one more time.

He hurt me too much.

If you came any closer you would have seen the fractured pieces held together by fragile strings of hope. I pushed you away because I couldn't handle losing you. Not again. You are too smart, too self-controlled, too thoughtful.

Your blue eyes sparkle too much. Your voice, rough and sexy scraping over my skin so sensually it tears me apart.

When we went on a "hike," I complained every step... because of him. The death marches on my barely healed broken foot back then welled up in the back of my mind. So instead of being with you... I was with him that day. It wasn't fair to you.

Just like the night you wanted to cuddle but I couldn't. I wasn't with you then. Instead, the insecurities bit like mosquitoes every inch of me till nothing was left for you when you needed it.

You spent a day with your daughter, it was no surprise you didn't call later to see if I was still around. After everything who would blame you? and you had so much going on.

Only despite the emotional mess I am right now... or perhaps because of it... I need someone who is excited to see me enough to call and find out if I'm still around, so I said good-bye and walked away, but I still miss you.

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Ashley Needles

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