Ashley Needles

 Your father and I weren't expecting you. You were the life change neither of us planned on. The best things in life sometimes happen that way.  My sweet child, let life surprise you and be glad for all the twists and bends and all the things that don't turn out exactly the way you plan. Predictable is boring. As your mother, I want to give you everything. I want to be the perfect mom you deserve. Unfortunately my little one, I am still very human. I'm going to make mistakes and mess up, but I will always do my best. In life that's all anyone can do.  I hope you allow yourself the gift of failure. Failure is the stepping stone to success. Celebrate your failures. Without failure, life would be boring. The most difficult circumstances are the most interesting.  Those who endure difficulty with passionate perseverence are the most fascinating villains, heroes, and people. If you can be positive during difficulties you're already on your way to overcoming any problem....

Being pregnant, I've noticed something, everyone and I mean everyone tells my partner what to do for me. "Rub her feet," "Rub her back," "Make her take it easy," etc. and while I have to say I'm a huge fan of massages and putting my feet up, and all this advice is well intentioned, people don't know my partner.  Res tries to give me massages but ninety nine percent of the time his hands are cut up from being a mechanic, electrician, plumber and more. He works himself to the bone in bitter cold and blistering heat and when people tell him all the things they think he should be doing for me, that he just can't, he feels like crap.  He is doing more than one person should ever have to do. To me, he is a super hero without the tacky cape. Today he worked on his sister's car, his grandfather's van, and a truck to sell for some extra cash to feed and cloth our baby, then he did a mountain of dishes by hand.  While I've cooked a few th...

My life is really good right now, and while I work to meet my goals of increasing my income and becoming a great author, I'm happy. Happy is an amazing way to live yet some people believe they will only be happy if: If they have a relationship, if they lose weight, if they get a better job, etc. There are so many excuses people give for not being happy. Some of which are legitimate i.e. abnormal circumstances, but most people make the choices that create or continue their unhappiness. They choose to stay with a job they hate, they choose to stay in a marriage that sucks the life out of them, they choose to watch CSI and Criminal Minds, and drink too much alcohol or otherwise pollute their bodies and minds with depressing things. (As someone prone to depression I can attest to how much tv shows affect mood, life, and mindset.) Learning to confront depression head-on has been an incredible journey. (Something that should be taught in every high school so kids don't end up ...

 What you eat while you're pregnant affects not just your baby but your grandchildren and great-grandchildren! Wondering what you can do to give your baby pink hair? I have no idea... beets maybe? ;)  While I may not be able to help you out on that one I have a few tips that can help your pregnancy produce a baby that doesn't turn into a super crazy teenager!  To prevent depression start with quercetin, add in some DHA, EPA, and L-Methylfolate, not just to prevent spinal bifida but to increase IQ and prevent other neural tube defects. If you want to go a step further and prevent a child from being born with a brain primed for anxiety and OCD disorders add in some magnesium L-threonate, magnesium glycinate, and magnesium Taurate.  In people with the gene CACNA1C, their brain cells can't properly control the intake of calcium and it attacks their neurons unless of course, you provide your baby with a nutritional modifier for the intake. Calcium and ...

March of 2020 I was getting scheduled for a hysterectomy. Covid hit. The final check-up and diagnostic tests for it were postponed.  I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids without surgery. Finally finding a child-free partner who was everything I'd ever wanted, was a dream come true. Despite my medical condition, we used 'protection' just in case. The protection failed, nature found a way, six weeks before that postponed hysterectomy was going to happen. ...several months ago.  At first, it felt like my body was violated. Invaded by a pathetic selfish rat/fish I didn't ask for.  Held hostage by morning sickness that lasted all day and cramps that made walking across a room a challenge and together these made driving impossible. I felt like a prisoner and victim of the alien parasite taking over my body.  Even taking care of mail and keeping up with normal bills was torture. Sitting perfectly still reading anything was like being on a tilt-a-whirl that just didn...

Finally dating a man who is childfree. Before this I'd only dated one other who was childfree but that relationship didn't last long. I now get why the childfree community is all about only dating other childfree people. I feel truly accepted by my significant other. I get the whole being on the same page thing. It isn't just being child free though, we're both non religious, highly into psychology and self development, and good with money. However the childfree aspect specifically has brought to light many areas of fulfillment my previous relationships were missing. I feel secure in the relationship at a level I never have. Once my husband left for another woman because he knocked her up... I didn't feel like I was enough. In this relationship, I feel powerful. I don't question my choices, i.e. wondering how much I should sacrifice to make my partner happy and what compromises I should make. I feel accepted as a woman. He doesn't question if I have maternal...

We finally went on a second date! He was so excited to see me he didn't get much sleep the night before. A photo of Res by himself since the lighting in the one of us together made his blond hair fall out.  🤣 😂 😜 When I arrived he had this box waiting.  He made it for me during our time apart and filled it with treats for Messy and gifts for me. I like him because while he's not perfect, he tries. He admits his weaknesses, can say sorry, and accepts that I'm flawed too. We have a lot of common values and beliefs,...           So maybe... Maybe, it's time to hope for more than a glimpse of what could be. Maybe this time my heart won't get broken and maybe the guy who's easy to talk to, who thinks I walk on water, who is understanding, full of patience and incredibly kind will stay for more than a few precious moments in my life...