Karma and Thoughts

So as my video (about not dating single dads) was uploading yesterday, I took Messy on a walk, during which we met a HOT single dad, his six-year-old daughter and their dog. 

As we talked he learned I'm nomadic, child-free and he still asked for my number... I hesitated but gave him the digits. Suspecting he isn't looking to settle down or for anything serious... 

My thoughts, it might be fun for a bit, maybe he'll be interesting, maybe I'll learn something through dating him... 

Suddenly today I realized the oddity in how I view dating compared to most people. 

I have no hope or expectations of long term. 

And maybe that's why my relationships are fleeting but deliciously sweet because I don't feel bitterness when things inevitably end. 

Or maybe my relationships have the shelf life of a ripe banana because as we parted ways I noticed a text from the guy who thinks I walk on water but lives 2 hours away... telling me to call him and so before I was even out of ear shot of the new person I was conversing with someone else... 

Because of my genetics I've been blessed or cursed with options. From the time I was seventeen I haven't felt the need to fight for someone if that person decided to leave.

Granted I did try to fight for one relationship since then but my efforts were in vain and for me if I try and fail it is difficult to want to try the same tactic again.

I've always gone with the motto doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity... but with people and relationships I need to change that motto because people are each unique and different and someone else might deserve the chance another threw away. 

Thanks for reading! 

Remember If You Feel like shopping and want to support my writing click any of the links below to get to Amazon!

Comments

No Greater Love

In my marriage, I grew cold and distant, I was dark emptiness taking up a small space. When the marriage inevitably ended, I was left wondering if I was capable of love at all. Wondering if my coldness led to the death of something great for many people. Since then I've tried a few tepid attempts at love, with each trial showing me new errors. People say, "You just haven't met the right person yet," but that isn't true. Relationships fail not because there is some mystical magical right person out there for each of us but rather because we are human and being human means failing sometimes. (Of course, just because there is no "right one" that doesn't mean there aren't wrong ones. There are after all a few truly terrible people mucking about in the world but these are the exceptions, not the rule.) I am currently a failure at relationships, but with each failure, I learn and grow, and eventually, I will be a fantastic success at one relati...

One Day at a Time

Growing up in Utah, I had classes broaching subjects like episiotomies, lamaze, and more. Needless to say while I didn't want kids, I had my birth plan ready to the letter all the i's dotted and t's crossed. I planned a relaxed at home delivery with my birth partner in a tub of purified water, dim lights and the sounds of the ocean playing over a pre recorded sound track of my heart beat. I wanted erotic stimulation if labor stalled. I wanted delayed cord clamping and UV lights on the ready with an infant eye mask. With Res out of the picture, some of that obviously went out the window. As my due date came and went, my pre labor continued. Two weeks of contractions starting and stopping. Alone in a hotel room (chosen for its location relative to a hospital with a level five NICU and not for the black mold growing inside the bathroom or drug addicts in the hallways or gun shots down the street) I kept asking myself how I was going to do this. How was I ...

Divorce: A Journey to Total Happiness

Your plans lay shattered in a million pieces. You're walking around with a gaping hole smashed in your chest from the words that ripped out your heart. You can barely breathe. I remember those first three months vividly. I'd failed my marriage, my husband and myself. My dreams of being a perfect wife, of having the best marriage ever, all went perfectly to hell. Despite how many times I'd fantasized about leaving my husband and how awful my marriage was every inch of my body felt flayed, bruised and every bone broken. Each nerve ending cried with a desperate need to be touched and held. Any vague reminder of my marriage, my spouse, was like getting kicked in the gut by a Clydesdale. Three years later I look back and know it was all worth it, every excruciating moment. The living torment led me to paths I never would have otherwise taken. Desperate to escape the thoughts torturing my mind I delved into sleep hypnosis, audiobooks on relationships, communica...

Ashley Needles

Search This Blog