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Instead of Flowers



What I really need and what every woman really needs in this world isn't cut stems of wilting death, withering away in glass vases, but something like this:

 

We need tools to keep the people around us accountable for their actions! Phones are useful but sometimes we need protection walking to our cars at night after work when our hands are full.

Do you know how scary it is to finally get off work and go to your car at night to discover a stranger waiting for you?

I was lucky the guy was waiting to give me a rose but that he spent three nights waiting and watching to discover which car was mine to do this freaked me out.

There was also the time I took the garbage out of Burger Supreme in Provo when I was nineteen and had to race back in because some random homeless guy was there who shoved me against the giant dumpster to fondle my breasts. I got him off of me but that was one of hundreds of instances that contributed to my current state of being some what of a shut-in.

Of course, I've changed my mind about how I want to handle things now. Not only do I wish I'd had a spy pen on all the dates I've been on in the last four years but if I ever do decide to date again or when I have to leave my house I want a weapon. A gun for my tiny frame is a bit bulky and I'm not sure I could bring myself to shoot someone, in the past I've mostly tried to outsmart or manipulate my way out of situations like the guy who wouldn't leave my house and was mauling me I told him watching men masturbate was my fetish. Only I'm tired of it all and I'm ready for some justice. The next guy who mauls me after I've said no, I want to give him a reason not to do it to any other women. I want to stab him in the butt. Avoid vital organs but get the point across or in as the case may be.


I guess you could say I'm bitter and paranoid but after surviving several rapes, a plethora of sexual assaults and so forth, I'm ready to fight back.

In my life, I've hit two men. The first was a friend. It was after Art died and I slapped him across the face out of grief and not because he deserved it. It was over ten years ago and I still feel terrible about it.

The second was after a guy permanently damaged my neck. His mother walked in on my reaction and her face went white. No amount of explanation will clear my guilt in her eyes.

So I'm not exactly a sadist, but I do want people to get the concept, "No, means NO."  So anyway if a guy wants to make me swoon, these are the kinds of things he'd get me for Christmas since it's coming up and all.

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