What I'm Longing For

I miss being someone's encourager. I miss cooking for someone after that someone had a long day. I miss being the anchor and rock that gets to listen and lift the weight off shoulders that were strained by it. 

I'm living my life and I'm happy. I just want to wish someone good luck and have a nice day and remind someone how great and wonderful they are. 

Those are the things burning inside me to get out and find a release. 

I want to hold someone and just be there when that person needs it. I want to watch another's favorite movie and see their smile as a favorite part is about to happen.

I'm bad at so many things in relationships. Bad at putting on rose-colored glasses and believing that a relationship is the one that is going to last. Especially when that person is the one I want to be with for forever. 

It scares me too much to believe something truly wonderful will last.

I over-analyze my partner's feelings and experiences trying to help the one I love to make sense of senseless things. Far too often I advise when I should just listen and be supportive. 

I get so focused on trying to impress someone I care about because I want them to stay so much I forget to be impressed by the one I care about. 

Being in love makes me nervous because I know things can fall apart or that person could die and I'd have to learn to live without them again. 

When Art died it was like learning to exist without an arm, a leg and my soul. 

I don't want to go through that again but I don't want to spend the rest of my life not having someone who can make me laugh in the middle of an argument and I want someone I can tell to shut up and just get naked already when he gets a cute scowl on his face. 

I want someone to kiss me until I forget the pizza in the oven and we both laugh as we eat the toppings off the burnt crust. 

I have so much inside I want to give someone but until that someone who wants it comes along I will be happy and live cherishing the nurturing light burning inside me. 

Comments

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