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Stop Hitting On Sad Women. Here's Why:

I get it, you want to be a knight in shiny armor and slay some dragons. Awesome! But that girl who is crying, that girl with the sorrow in her eyes can't give you what you need in a romantic partner.

 

Recently I wrote a Facebook post about sitting in a Denny's Diner alone feeling sad. My inbox immediately filled up with men who wanted to fill a hole in my life.

When my heart was ripped out and stomped on after finding out my husband had cheated on me, men and women popped out from every nook and cranny of the internet and "real life" to try and sleep with me.

Women are NOT meant to be wounded gazelles and you are NOT meant to be wolves that pounce on them when they show emotional weakness.

I don't get why guys are all about the sad eyes, emojis, or tears when  these things lead to drama and toxic relationships.

Women who are smiling and doing okay in life will make much better partners than those looking for an emotional crutch!

Recently, a friend of mine got his heart smashed up because he started seeing a woman who is in the last dregs of a dying marriage. He, of course, thought it was over because the woman's husband repeatedly cheated on her and in my friend's mind he thought "how could she possibly forgive that?"

He was under the impression the marriage was completely over. Ending a marriage isn't simple or easy and it isn't a black and white and the two people splitting up are on a rollercoaster of ups and downs of work things out and quit for some time before things finally come to an end.

The worst part of it is because he needed a real partner he took out his frustration on the poor wounded gazelle who's heart is bleeding and gradually being torn out of her chest. I kinda wanted to smack him for it.

Okay, so here's the deal, if you do go for that wounded animal because your primal instincts are in overdrive and you can't seem to stop yourself, you should know several things about that drive: First and foremost, it's a sign of a need to control your partners. Second, it shows you have issues of abandonment you might want to work on those.

Excuse the bluntness, but most the time when men are attracted to the wounded woman they are ABUSERS or Co-Dependent and desperately NEED therapy.

Now, I really shouldn't talk much here because my last relationship well he wasn't exactly in the right place to be in a romantic partnership either. I probably should have kept us on a friendship level a lot longer, except he didn't talk to me before calling it quits with the other women in his life.

I admit it was a bit like getting hit by a sledgehammer between the eyes when he told me what he'd done, but not in a bad way... I kind of felt like a giddy drunk for the next week after. I just hadn't expected it at all and it knocked me for a loop and a half!

It's awesome though that he and I can still be friends though when our relationship crashed and burned so fast, but that isn't a typical outcome when people get involved with hurt people. As the saying goes "HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE!"

I guess I must still have some hurt too despite how happy I am most the time though because I insensitively poked his emotional wounds with a stick.

Sometimes I really wonder what the heck was I thinking?! and if I was even thinking at all!

Before he told me what he'd done I'd been thinking it would be a year or two before he and I would even explore the possibility of a relationship.

I should have thought about what to do if he wanted to move forward faster than that... but I hadn't, So it was like getting hit by a sledgehammer. An intoxicating, knock me off my feet, strip me of my senses sledgehammer.

I guess sometimes when we are in pain we also have a hard time recognizing our need for space and time to heal. Sometimes our pain makes us latch on too quickly to the opportunities that are presented to us.

So how do we get past that clinging onto another to ease our emotional pain? How do we avoid falling for the enticing trap of feeling needed?

It might sound weird but taking an ibuprofen can help with heartache. I like to use 400 mg of 5-HTP personally but to each their own. The ibuprofen works because emotional pain affects the brain the same way as physical pain. The 5-HTP works because what causes the pain is the missing jolts of serotonin we get from being around and just seeing that significant other.

      
As for being needed if we focus our energy into volunteer work at nursing homes, crisis nurseries, pet shelters and so on, we can use our need to be needed for good causes and have an increased resistance to that particular allure.

Anyway, there are a lot more tricks but this blog has gone on long enough! Thank you so much for reading, be sure to hit the subscribe button on the side above my pic for my latest blogs! Have a wonderful life until then!


 

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